Kathleen Norton

March: The class clown of the calendar

Posted on: March 22, 2011

NOT!

It could be a perfectly lovely day when you read this, but as I write it on the official First Day of Spring, all I know is that I am looking outside my window and it is snowing.

Flakes are piling up on the porch planter where the yellow and purple pansies are supposed to go, my mood is awful and I am reminded why I hate March so very much.

The garden store lady tried to warn me. “A little early for those,’’ she said yesterday as I lugged the flat of flowers onto the checkout counter.

“Oh, they will be fine! Look! The sun is out!’’ I said in my desperate last-days-of-winter giddiness.

But they are not fine. The pansies are draining in the kitchen sink and it will be days before they can be planted outside.

Is this a joke? I don’t know about you, but I am sick of my heavy boots, sick of my scratchy heels, sick of making stuff in the crock pot, sick of all of it.

I want flip-flops, lemonade, sunburn, and evenings when it is too hot and humid to eat anything but ice cream.

And I want them now. Yes, this is selfish. All you have to do is turn on the news to find out how selfish it is to complain about the weather.

Still.

I think that if you live in a place where it is not only normal but also fairly predictable that Spring could burst on the scene with snow that you earn a small amount of grousing time.

This is mine.

March is the worst month of the year. I will make an exception for one single day – the 7th – my new granddaughter’s birthday. But that is as far as I budge. Otherwise, it stinks.

It is like the class clown of calendar. It’s fun to be around, but has trouble written all over it.

Why can’t March be more like December? It is the multi-tasking, teacher’s pet of all the months. December has a lot on its plate. Think of how much goes on in December year after year after year, and without a fuss.

All we ask of March is to bring us Spring but here I am looking out at the frozen landscape. This month is like that friend you had in college – always there for a party, but never around when you need a ride and people make excuses for it when it messes up.

My friend Carol is one of those people. I can hear what she used to say to me every spring when she lived up north and I began complaining about this month.

“Quit whining! Spring is just around the corner!’’ she’d say. Now she lives down south so I avoid contacting her in March because she might mention that the azaleas are already in bud there.

This while my poor sprouting daffodils just got dumped on with a snowstorm and there’s a sea of mud where my lawn should be.

No, better not to contact Carol for a few weeks.

Better to just sit here and let my hatred of March wash over me like the melting snow I can hear dripping down the gutter outside my window.

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4 Responses to "March: The class clown of the calendar"

Boy, can we all relate – even those of us in warmer places. Long winters are a drag!

I just saw some little croscuses in my garden, but we still have patches of snow here and there. Will it ever end?

Quit whining! Spring is just around the corner. By the way, even with the frigid temps we had this winter in coastal southeast NC, our pansies survived it. No azalea blossoms yet, but plenty of pollen. We are swathed in spores of yellow.

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