Kathleen Norton

Shame, shame on Elmo!

Posted on: October 5, 2010

Elmo, you shouldn't have!

Oh, Elmo, you naughty Muppet. I hope you are hanging your shaggy little head in shame.

I don’t know what in the name of Jim Henson possessed you to dance on TV with Katy Perry who wore a dress with a neckline so low it gave new meaning to the phrase “Pop Star.”

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot, Elmo. You are a man. Well, as much a man as a Muppet can be.

That explains something. Still.

Thanks to your romp with Katy, people are talkin’ trash about Street, that TV Temple of Innocence.

I am sure you have heard all the jokes. (“Tickle me Elmo! As soon as you’re done with Katy!”) And I am certain your Sesame Street pals have been ribbing you good. They’ve been jealous of your success for years. Especially Big Bird, who would give anything to be a cute little cuddly guy.

He’s thrilled that all those angry parents called in and got you and Katy taken off the air. Big Bird probably led the charge.

There is nothing meaner than a giant yellow bird with sour grapes.

All this has gotta hurt. Up to now, you’ve been adored by children everywhere, even if your squeaky little voice annoyed the heck out of parents and grandparents alike.

But this? This is different. People are ticked. And I am sorry to rub salt into the wound, Elmo, but I advise our boomer friends out there who haven’t seen this scandalous episode, click here.

Be prepared. If grandbabies happen to be around, cover their eyes before Elmo and Katy start their dance or put them in for their naps.

And that, Elmo, is the whole point.

If boomers who have been your loyal fans for years can’t let the grandkids watch you uncensored while we collapse on the couch during an exhausting afternoon of babysitting, then the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

Maybe if this were about Miss Piggy, it wouldn’t be so shocking. After all, that pig has been known to pop a little cleavage from time to time in pursuit of her croaking Romeo, Kermit the frog.

We are all wise to that swine tramp. But you, Elmo?

Why, little tykes can say your name before they can say their own. When you are on the TV screen, my granddaughter’s eyes light up like we injected sugar right into her veins.

What’s that, Elmo? Did you just squawk: Hey! Leave poor Elmo alone!

Muppet Doo-Doo to you! At this very moment, there is a plastic Elmo cup waiting to be washed in my kitchen sink and an Elmo toy in the early Christmas shopping pile.

So I am sorry, Elmo, but you owe me better than this.

Call Tiger Woods. Maybe his damage control team can lend a hand.

It’s gonna take a lot of time before boomers like me can song “Elmo’s World” and not have our minds go right to the gutter.


6 Responses to "Shame, shame on Elmo!"

Oh dear, Luke is being Elmo for Halloween!

Very funny! Now Katy Perry can sing, “I kissed a Muppet and I liked it!” Maybe Elmo’s fire-engine red tone is due to blushing? Squeak!!!

Poor Elmo! It wasn’t nearly as bad as the critics say. Chin up. We still love you!

Et tu, Elmo? I can’t believe your people would let Katy on the set dressed like that. But, you really seemed to enjoy it.

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