Kathleen Norton

A “garden” like you’ve never seen

Posted on: April 27, 2010

You'll never look at this the same way again!

Now that we’ve had a laugh about our addiction to ‘anti-aging’ creams, it only seems fair to spread the ridicule around.

And the folks who make Schick razors have given us loads of material to work with!

Their incredibly tasteless commercials for women’s “Trim Style” bikini razors have  rendered ME speechless.

This is truly a first for a woman voted in high school “Girl most likely to talk herself to death.”

But before I go on about this delicate subject, here’s a shoutout to my mother: Please stop reading this NOW.  (Don’t argue, Ma. Everything is fine. I’ll call later and explain.)

OK, here’s what happened.

I was lounging in bed Sunday morning, surfing through TV channels with the remote.

1st click: Infomercial for a colon cleanser that sounded more frightening than water boarding.

2nd click: Ranting televangelist preaching in a church bigger than the State of Delaware.

3rd click:  The tacky razor commercial.

And that’s where the clicking stopped.

If you didn’t go to the link and look at the commercial, it shows young women walking around outdoors while the “shrubs” in the picture are digitally trimmed into various shapes.

I’m watching this in a half-coma and thinking, “Hmm, what’s with the shrubs? Why are they shrinking? What does this have to do with shaving? Oh my…OH MY!

If you think that’s bad, the commercial for the same Schick razors shown in Great Britain is much more racy and features women who sing “Mow the lawn!”

You must Google this one because I certainly am NOT going to assist you in a smut hunt.

Oh, never mind. Click here to see it. I’ve come this far.

This British version left me with two thoughts.

A. Why are those Brits so cheeky!

B. Why wasn’t I born there?

Anyway, back to my puritannical whining.

It’s bad enough women have to endure ads that show tampons being used to plug leaky boats, or ads for bras that feature cleavage bigger than beach balls.

Now we have to put up with commercials that turn personal hygiene into a gardening metaphor.

You can just imagine the meeting where cheesy advertising geniuses came up with the idea.

Cheesy genius #1: Anyone with a tasteful idea can leave now!

Cheesy genius #2:  I just saw the new Victoria’s Secret ad. My father used to have to pay to see pictures like that! So crude! I love it!

Cheesy genius #3: I still have a disgusting cartoon I doodled back in 7th grade. It got me suspended, but it would make a swell commercial!

All cheesy geniuses: Nobody can sink lower than us. Nobody!

I am sure that this is exactly what happened, and on behalf of all women, I protest and demand equally tasteless advertising for men.

Every Viagra commercial should show a man taking a pill while skyscrapers pop out of the ground all around him.

A commercial for jock itch cream should show a guy putting powder on a baseball bat and a couple of baseballs.

I do not worry that this is too tasteless. I have great faith that the advertising industry can lower itself to the occasion.

Judging by the razor ad, there’s PLENTY of tacky to go around.

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10 Responses to "A “garden” like you’ve never seen"

I actually looked at the commercial and have to agree with you that I feel “exposed”, but the only saving grace…if there IS any…it’s that a lot of women won’t catch it. BUT, there certainly is NONE on this commercial telling and SHOWING men how to “trim the bush to make the tree seem taller”!!! OMG….now that shocked me and then when you see how the “character” is demonstrating the technique on How to Shave your Groin, I couldn’t believe it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY&feature=related

There’s just nothing left to the imagination any more. All I can do is shake my head. THEY (advertisers) should be hang theirs.

Too funny! This could be material for “Sex and the City” part III.

Wow, I was speechless as well. I haven’t seen the commercial on TV (thanks for the links) but I’m sure there will be yet another new low to follow. It’s right up there with “have a happy period”

Would make a great SNL skit!

OMG…too funny. Gotta show this to Rob!

Yes, show it to him…I’m too embarassed! Those naughty Brits!

and i was gonna hire someone to mow the lawn…

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